Determination

I had a conversation with a friend yesterday. She was frustrated because she felt like crap but had lots of youth ministry stuff she was committed to this week. She wondered honestly, why would God allow her to get sick if he called her to serve in these things.
The 'sinful world' notwithstanding, it's a fair question. A genuine heart follows the call to serve in some area, only to find when you get there, you just don't feel like doing it.
It made me think about the disciples, who on foot or camel, had to follow Jesus many a mile. Sure we have the record of the cool stuff that happened when they got there, but I'd love to hear their thoughts between cities. I'm sure the travel was wearisome. Not to mention how often they were confused even in the thick of miracles and teachings.
My advice to my friend... sometimes we need to follow when we don't feel like it. We must trust that God is still in control, even if we are feeling yucky, or hurt, or unmotivated. Of course we need to be totally honest about our feelings, let him know that we could use some help; express our frustration - David did throughout the Psalms - and share our burdens with others. And finally voice our continued trust, our commitment to follow despite our crap.
"God will not make me think like Jesus— I have to do it myself. I have to bring every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5)." Good advice. It takes determination; it takes remembering our original commitment. And it means coming as a child, trusting that our loving Father won't give us more than he knows we can withstand; that he has a purpose in it, even if just to draw us back to him.